So Patty and I are watching the women's Olympic marathon on tv tonight, and I can't help but notice that most of them don't appear to be having a good time. Nobody's smiling, nobody's looking at the scenery (Hey! It's China!), nobody's doing anything but putting down one foot in front of the other. Pretty damned boring, right?
I've got a couple of ideas that probably would spice things up a bit, and give the runners and the folks at home watching a little pick me up during this long, grueling race.
Idea #1: Instead of cups of water at various points, how about a cup of beer? After about ten of those stations, eeeevryone's having a good time.
Idea #2: Give 'em all a camera. Let them at least take a few snapshots of the incredible architecture they're missing. Great keepsakes and the memories are right there in front of them. They can show all their friends and relatives. Sort of a Marathon Memory album.
Idea #3: In between the beer stations, set up tables with cheesesteak sandwiches. Who doesn't appreciate a good hoagie with a glass of beer?
Idea #4: Port-a-Johns. C'mon who can hold it for 25 miles? Let's get real.
Idea #5: Along with the beer and cheesesteak stations, add one for cigarettes. Nothing like a great smoke after a meal.
Idea #6: Issue all runners with a barf bag. Beer, cigarettes, cheesesteak sandwiches on a 25 mile run......something's gotta give.
Idea #7: At the halfway point, make 'em all run backwards.
Idea #8: Fire hoses at the entrance to the stadium. Nobody wants to see the winner staggering in with barf all over her.
Idea #9: Ankle weights. Right around the 3/4 mark, make them all strap on weights. The true test of strength and endurance is being able to perservere with an additional burden. I get misty just thinking about it.
Idea #10: Blindfolds. 'Nuff said.